I’m Transgender, Not Desperate

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So tonight, I went on a date for the first time since my break up with my ex, the jackass, in September.  The person I went out with, we’ll refer to as “Ced.”  This is very important as I am a pre-op transwoman, Hence the name change of the blog, and I’m also HIV positive.

Ced and I have known each other for a couple years and we have been great friends. We support each other in ministry and we are both nudists.  Ced is very well educated on HIV and Transgender live, him being a Cis gender male.  Well, since he and I have made a deeper connection, there has been some sort of a enigmatic attraction to this Black Trans Nudist!!!

Tonight we went to a local restaurant and we talked about our likes, experiences in dating, and me being transgender and the challenges I’ve often faced as a transwoman.  One of the topics being that people think that because I’m transgender, that I am desperate and that I should only be dated out of charity or that no one will love me as a transwoman.

One thing that Ced said that was pivotal “I don’t care who you are, you deserve to be loved and deserve to have love in your life.”  I couldn’t help but smile.  As a 30 year old transwoman, rebuilding her life after several failed relationships and also financially rebuilding herself, I find it crucial that I find someone that can love me for me and not the fetish of transwomen.

I have been with men and I have come in contact with me that saw me, a transwoman, as just a fuckrag, not a human being.  If only you could see my messages and inbox that I receive on a daily basis, of men sending their ass or dick pictures to me wanting to see my genitals and chests as if I owe them that because I’m a transwoman.

This is one reason why dating has sucked. Men have only wanted me because they think dating a transwoman is some type of fetish.  It makes you wonder if they have bothered to educate themselves, which really pisses me off.  However, I am thankful for tonight’s date with Ced.  I do feel that this has potential to go somewhere, however, only time will tell.

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